May 2010
62 posts
Day 292
This morning, my friend Jean and I headed out to some fields in Seffner to film the last few scenes I had thought up for Outwatch the Bear. We didn’t have a definite plan of where to shoot but everything turned out surprisingly well partially thanks to Jean’s ability to spot the farms that had horses.
Day 291
Well that’s it. I finished the first remediation test and I have to say the experience was at once calming and stressful. I took it on paper with no scantron in a tiny room with a window that looks out over one of the parking lots and our medical school. When I was finished, my academic adviser came in and walked me through all of the problems I was having doubts about. He...
Day 290
Staying in the histo lab alone till midnight studying is not fun. It’s lonely. Even for a “seasoned” med school student like myself. What’s with the use of that word anyway? I sound like I’m an entree! Oh well. At the last minute I realized there was way too much to memorize. And then I remembered, I didn’t have a choice.
Day 289
Remix
I decided to reedit some of the photos I had taken earlier of my friend Joyce for my “My Favourite Book” series. The decision came about as I was playing with some of the photos in the new Adobe Lightroom beta software I’ve been using. It’s so much better than the software that came with my newest D-SLR, the results are dramatic. Also, while I was...
Day 288
I had my meeting with the psychiatrist today to talk about my script and I couldn’t be more pleased. He answered all the questions I had about patients with schizophrenia in 20 minutes plus he gave me a textbook and told me I could shadow him. He also said I could go out with some doctors that see schizophrenic patients in their homes. And I may even do a little research in July with a...
Day 287
We were finally sent our grades today and…
I passed!
There is no word yet invented that even partially expresses the relief I and most of my fellow med students are feeling now.
I heard there were many people praying for me, even people I don’t know and to those people I am eternally grateful.
It still doesn’t quite feel like I have complete closure for the year because I...
Day 286
Just trying to piece together my understanding of molecular medicine today. My studying is going slower than I would like. Are all these equations for enzyme kinetics really necessary for my understanding of the human body as a physician? I am afraid the answer to this question, like most of the material from molecular medicine, is no.
Day 285
I got to the lung transplant group’s picnic really late today but still enjoyed the sight of some of the patients and medical staff dressed as “normal” people. Its hard to believe that almost all of the people at the picnic were only alive because of the efforts of a handful of people who were also at the picnic. I guess the whole idea of one group of humans working desperately...
Day 284
I watched Reservoir Dogs tonight for the first time. I thought it was really good. The way the story was told in a convoluted fashion is supposed to be a trademark of Tarantino films but seeing as how this was the first Tarantino film I’ve ever seen I enjoyed it as a fresh change. I think on average most films are presented in a far too linear fashion nowadays, especially ones that come...
Day 283
So I finally locked down an appointment with the doctor who gave our lecture on schizophrenia aka the best lecture of the year. I think he’ll really be able to point me in the right direction with this new script.
Day 282
In the morning, myself and some of my classmates who went to Bolivia with me spoke at a local middle school about our trip. I put together a little powerpoint with photos and we all talked about what we did. It was fun. The kids asked a lot of questions, many good ones and some very off topic ones that kept us entertained. We got a couple of questions about specific disease which we tossed...
Day 281
The Culprit Life: In the Studio 1
Kevin and I attempted to set up all the recording equipment today. It was largely a failure as we couldn’t figure out how to hook up my midi controller through my interface to the computer.
Day 280
Waiting
We received an email today saying that our raw scores for the final were not going to be sent to us and instead the faculty were working to adjust the grades and only once they are finally adjusted will we receive any hint of how we have done. Also, they mentioned that the exam key will not be available till June. In short: this is bull crap.
I met with my academic adviser this...
Day 279
Work It
Tonight, I worked on the photos I took of the COM PAC group in the library a few weeks ago. I tried to give them a slight 70’s vintage treatment which meant brightening, decontrasting, desaturating, and bringing out reds.
Day 278
Since I still don’t know if I need to study for a possible failed exam, I had time today for other pursuits. I reworked a few of The Culprit Life songs for the new album and nearly completed a new one that is going to be the main closing song.
Day 277
This was the last day of the first year of medical school… sort of.
There was noticeable elation expressed by many of the people in my class but I, like many others, didn’t receive a sense of closure from the final exam. Instead, we were left with overwhelming uncertainty about how we performed in our courses.
Here are the logistics: probably about half of us took the exam on...
Day 276
Well, this is it.
The end of the first year of medical school is less than 15 hours away.
The cards have been dealt. I played my hand as best I could. I’m all in.
My friend Justin sent the class an encouraging email today and it featured the following verse from the Bible. I think it is a fitting reflection of the attitude I am striving for and near obtaining.
“We are hard...
Day 275
I’m exhausted. This exam is seriously a monstrosity. I have managed to stay fairly positive about it though while on the brink of being overwhelmed. The raw scores we got back today from our test Monday were uplifting. I did well! Well = passing for those of you who don’t know. Let’s hear it for divine help, ‘cuz there’s no way I could have pulled that off by...
Day 274
In class reviews blah blah blah good professors apathetic professors blah blah blah completely irrelevant questions from people I’d like to shoot with a tranquilizer dart blah blah blah studying studying studying blah blah blah inside outside student union blah blah blah funny mexican dinner with classmates and witty banter blah blah blah library studying histo lab studying blah blah blah...
Day 273
“I’ve never felt more under the gun than in the last 10 minutes of that test” – me to my friend Rajiv as we walked out of said test.
I really have never felt more like my life was on the line than in that test. A year of my life to be precise and more than $40,000. I kept count of the questions I missed according to the team test and I think I may have narrowly passed. I think. I’ll hold out...
Day 272
Everything is gonna be alright.
I think.
Day 271
I hate medical school. I hate everything about it. I hate the environment it creates; it’s acidic. I hate studying for over 14 hours in a day and feeling like a failure at the end of it. I hate that I can’t go out with my girlfriend. I hate always feeling below average at nearly everything I do. I hate feeling like the only one who doesn’t get it. I hate being 22 and over $40,000 in debt...
Day 270
More time in the cadaver lab. More studying in the library. More sarcasm. So exciting.
Day 269
I managed to stay in my pajamas till nearly 4pm today. Studying at home has it’s advantages, but it gets old and sometimes I need a change of scenery. I stayed in the cadaver lab till 10:30 tonight going over the structure list for the test with about half the people in my class. It was the first time in a long time that I felt somewhat inadequate when naming the structures but eventually my...
Day 268
The Renal King
part one
part two
This is how our physiology review began this morning. A pretty awesome start to the last day of classes if you ask me. Later, sitting in the back, conversing with a physical therapy student in my small group, I started to realize how much I was learning and how much I had learned, even if I am at the bottom of the class. I left the auditorium feeling...
Day 267
Finally, after days of preliminary complaining, my class took the On Doctoring exam. On the whole though, I really don’t blame them too much. A lot of their concerns are also my concerns. People don’t see it but I get just as frustrated, if not more, with the course as they do. Sometimes for different reasons. I just feel the content of the course needs to be updated and the focus...
Day 266
We had our smoking cessation talks with middle school kids today. My group had to go to Plant City to do ours. Overall the kids were a lot better than I expected, I don’t think we came off as too big of dorks, and we instilled some good ideas in them as to the dangers of smoking. I thought we would finish early but we actually had to cut things from the presentation because there was so much to...
Day 265
In between studying at school today, I caught my friend Emily’s violin recital. She is one heck of a violinist. She choose some unique and difficult pieces to play and executed them brilliantly from what I could tell. Truly a joy to watch. I missed some of my other musically inclined friends’ recitals this year so it was nice to catch Emily’s performance, it fit right in to my study schedule.
Day 264
I worked on my On Doctoring take home exam today with my assigned partner Anease who is absolutely wonderful to work with. Everybody seems to be complaining about this exam because of it’s inconvenience and occasional time consuming/odd questions. Often, I agree with them. But I have noticed a few of the questions got me to think a little more deeply about the intangible aspects of being a...
Day 263
Picked up a copy of The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett today. I’ve wanted this book for so long! I can’t wait till I finish the final so I can read it.
Day 262
Silent Teacher Ceremony 2010
Still photographs by Eric Younghans
The Silent Teacher Ceremony is an event that first year medical school students hold in order to recognize and thank the people who donated their bodies to science so that we can dissect them and learn anatomy. I was privileged to be able to help plan and participate in it this year. Below is the piece that I wrote and my...
Day 261
We started the day with a mandatory clinical correlation that was actually interesting. To me anyway. It combined a lot of practical surgical anatomy with imaging to give us an idea of the problems surgeons encounter with the pancreas and tumors in that region.
In the afternoon, I was roped into taking photos of the 14 people in my class who are part of COM PAC, the group that helps get the...
Day 260
Today was my last day of LCE (well my first LCE anyway). It ended without fanfare as we wound up finishing with rounds quicker than I think we ever have. I did watch my LCE doctor bronch two people with a loss of innervation to their diaphragms though. It actually went surprisingly smooth given that the diaphragm is what generally allows you to breathe. The patients were put on bypass during...
Day 259
Despite being frustrated with how the school changes the class schedule and doesn’t bother to tell us and how the anatomy notes are not lining up with their lectures, I’ve managed to stay on top of things. I watched an interesting set of lectures on stroke and brain tumors today from neuroscience. They were the most interesting/clinically relevant lectures I have seen in a while.
Also, I...
Day 258
I am fumbling around with ways to study physiology. I’m not quite sure how to do it.
Day 257
Pops in the Park
Tonight, I went with Laura to see the Florida Orchestra perform outside in the park downtown next to the new museum. I was pleasantly surprised to see thousands of people there from around the city. The new Curtis Hixon Park seems to be designed for this kind of thing with the large lawn sloping down toward the river and the broad grass filled steps along the north side...
Day 256
This morning was our last anatomy lab, for my group anyway. Upon walking in, I noticed that I didn’t really notice the smell of formaldehyde anymore. What a great time to finally become desensitized to it. We had to locate the different muscles and glands around the tongue and we did it eventually with the help of a professor. At this point our cadaver, Henrietta as we affectionately call her,...
Day 255
We had a briefing today on an upcoming field trip we are taking to middle schools in the area in a couple weeks. We are doing talks with classes on the dangers of smoking. I’m looking forward to it but at the same time we were told that the kids can ask some ridiculous questions and put us in very awkward situations so we’ll see what happens. I think it’s cool that we are getting a chance to go...
Day 254
So here is the song I finished mixing at 3am. I wrote it back in January, the day before we had to come back to school from Christmas break. Half-way through writing it I realized it was about my relationship with medical school. Omar helped me record the drums and piano via midi and also sings guest vocals at the end.
Putting out only one demo in 4 months is slightly depressing but at least...
Day 253
“Thank you God, thank you God, God thank you.”
I certainly uttered that phrase about a thousand times today when I found out the raw, unadjusted scores I made on the test. They aren’t remarkable but they are good enough to give me a fighting chance at passing. I’m so grateful.
At night I recorded my friend Penny reading some of her poetry and later finished tracking the guitar for the song...
Day 252
If I got the grades I needed on this test, I barely got them.
Several of the written test questions were just brushed over in the lectures like they weren’t important.
The practical was a little harder than I thought it would be. During the last ten questions I was on autopilot as my mind was consumed with thinking about what the requirements are to get into a good photography program. It was a...
Day 251
I feel like I’ve checked off all the boxes in my things and ways to study list. I am eerily calm now.
Day 250
I started to freak out today because I realized I had spent all this block studying physiology and I kind of blew off anatomy. Let’s hope I can make a quick recovery.
Day 249
Lots of studying physiology and in the anatomy lab, lots of penises and vaginas. I think I am well on my way to being completely desensitized to these natural human taboos.
Day 248
On Doctoring today was comprised of two, one hour talks by two different lawyers about malpractice. It was coined “the dark side of medicine” and I think that terminology is really appropriate. I both liked and hated this session. While it was good to hear the attorneys speak bluntly about how malpractice works and how it has gotten so out of hand, I really despised having to listen to it at...
Day 247
In the morning, we all had to attend a special behavioral medicine small group/large group session where we were taught how to assess a phsyc patient via a mental exam which is the phsyc version of the physical exam. Our group facilitator was a 4th year resident who was excellent and funny. I’ve learned that a lot of physiatrists are humorous because they deal with patients with odd dispositions...
Day 246
Studying all day inside the house while the weather was great outside was slightly agonizing. I did however find one interesting thing in my lectures: renal ultrasound (Doppler). It’s like a normal ultrasound plus what looks like heat signatures revealing the vessels and the coolest thing is that there is a color gradient for fluid movement so a vein is colored blue while an artery is bright...
Day 245
Upon presenting my MD/MFA idea to some of the people in communications, they loved it and said I should definitely seek an audience with our dean about it. Before that though, they suggested I rally some other faculty together to talk about it. They also pointed out a few things I hadn’t thought about. One was that the medical school will like it because they could recruit more highly talented...
Day 244
In the garden of Eden, God told Adam to name all of the animals. In the modern world, scientists have taken this command to the extreme and consider it their personal duty to name absolutely every last little part of each living creature, especially the human being. It’s ridiculous. And anyone who has studied anatomy will tell you the same thing. It is comparable to assigning separate names to...
